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Children, young people and families, Mental health, Sex and gender

Mothers report taking the brunt of household mental load

Recent study suggests that the average U.S. mother handles 7 out of 10 household tasks, compared to the average U.S. father, who handles 4.5 out of 10 household tasks.

23 January 2025

By Emily Reynolds

Year after year, we hear that women believe that they take on more than their fair share of domestic labour. Recent statistics revealed that 63% of women report doing more than their fair share of household labour, compared with 22% of men, despite the fact that more than three quarters of people believe chores should be split equally.

Now, writing in the Journal of Marriage and Family, researchers from the universities of Bath and Melbourne look at another facet of domestic life: "cognitive household labour". This refers to the mental effort that keeps families going — things like scheduling appointments, planning tasks, and generally keeping track of what needs doing. They find that women are also bearing the brunt of this kind of work, which potentially has knock-on effects for their careers, relationships, and overall wellbeing.

The study surveyed 3000 U.S.-based parents of children aged 18 and younger, asking about seven categories of domestic cognitive labour: cleaning, scheduling, childcare, maintenance and repairs, finances, social relationships, and cooking. Respondents reported who in the family typically handled each task — whether it was mostly them, mostly their partner, equally shared, or done by family and friends.

Parents were also asked to rate how much of the overall mental work in the household was done by them rather than somebody else. This allowed the team to track not only who was doing what, but how accurately parents perceived their contributions compared to their partner's account.

The results found significant gendered disparities. Mothers handled the vast majority of household tasks that require mental effort: 71% of tasks, compared to 45% by fathers. This gap was particularly wide for daily jobs like cleaning and childcare, with mothers handling 79% of these responsibilities compared to 37% by dads. These daily tasks — frequent, essential, and often invisible — are vital for daily family life.

In contrast, 'episodic' or one-off tasks, like fixing a broken appliance, were more evenly distributed. Fathers took on 65% of these tasks – though mothers were still doing 53%, which the team suggests may lead to both parents taking on the labour of particular jobs .

Yet despite mothers reporting disproportionate activity, fathers often misjudged the balance. Parents overestimated their contributions to the household in general — but dads were far more likely to make this mistake, seeing the mental labour as equally shared. Overall, the results suggest a gendered division of tasks, with the average mother taking on more than their share of essential ongoing tasks of a household than their partners.

Day-to-day tasks, like remembering to pack a lunch or knowing when a music lesson is, may seem insignificant. But the toll of orchestrating each task adds up, which for some may lead to resentment and frustration. Unlike physical chores, mental effort often goes unnoticed, making it easy for one partner to overestimate their contributions while undervaluing the other's. As co-author Ana Catalano Weeks puts it, "this kind of work matters. It can lead to stress, burnout and even impact women's careers. In many cases, resentment can build, creating strain between couples."

The team notes one key limitation: the difficulty of measuring cognitive labour over time. Unlike physical chores, which can be timed, mental tasks are intangible and unbounded. "Mental loads can be carried in seconds, minutes, or hours — and are done internally and are thus totally invisible," the team writes. This makes traditional surveys ill-equipped to fully capture the weight of this omnipresent mental burden.

The study also points out that, while the gender divide is clear, there may be other layers of complexity. Intersectional factors like race, class, and sexual orientation could shape how cognitive labour is distributed and experienced within households, providing a valuable direction for future research.

Read the paper in full:
Weeks, A. C., & Ruppanner, L. (2024). A typology of US parents' mental loads: Core and episodic cognitive labor. Journal of Marriage and Family. https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.13057

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