Why does 'Adolescence' hit a nerve?

The recent series Adolescence has sparked widespread discussion, and so I watched it with a mix of trepidation and anticipation. While much attention has been given to toxic digital messaging, these appear to be less the cause and more agitators to vulnerability. The series highlights deeper socio-psychological issues affecting adolescent development and well-being, and for me, two dominant themes emerged from its portrayal: disrespect and shame.

It is impossible to understand the nuances in this series without the benefit of a developmental framework. Adolescence is the bridge between childhood and adulthood. Whilst some cross this bridge seamlessly, others find it a challenge. Most of the time it's a mixture of both. At the end of the bridge is self-identity. The challenge is to get to the end with a sense of knowing who you are, and to reach self-acceptance. The qualities of the young person, their experiences, the environment they grow up in, the role models in their life, the emotional turmoil they experience and the amount of consistent guidance they have, all contribute to helping them make this journey successfully. 

Disrespect as a developmental and social concern

Disrespect is a recurrent theme throughout Adolescence, manifesting in multiple settings: within schools, where students are likened to prisoners in a 'holding pen'; towards authority figures, including parents, teachers, law enforcement, and mental health professionals; through digital violations, such as sexting or cyber bullying; and systemic disrespect and violence, particularly towards girls and women.

Research on adolescent behaviour suggests that respect is not innate but learned through social interactions. Theories of social learning (such as Albert Bandura's) emphasise that behaviours, including disrespect, are modelled and reinforced by environmental factors. Lack of respected role models, exposure to inconsistent authority figures, low self-worth, unmet emotional needs, and pervasive digital influences can all contribute to a breakdown in mutual respect. Adolescence highlights the importance of emotionally engaged father figures for boys. Whilst male teachers may well fill this role as alternatives, in the series, male teachers are either ineffective or authoritarian, often unable, due to the pressures they face, to focus on the emotions underlying the behaviours that are being expressed – thereby, one can only but hypothesise, leaving a space for dominant males in the online arena to step in. 

Respect is critical in shaping adolescent development. Research (including Diana Baumrind's work) indicate that environments emphasising mutual respect foster emotional security, social competence, and ethical decision-making. Clear boundaries and fair discipline help adolescents build trust, emotional connections, and resilience. When respect is absent, adolescents may struggle with perspective-taking and empathy, potentially leading to antisocial behaviour or withdrawal, well depicted in Adolescence.

The role of shame in adolescent identity formation

Shame is another central theme, permeating nearly every aspect of Adolescence. This includes social shame, such as not having friends or lacking social media presence; familial shame, such as having well-meaning but non-understanding parents; uninvolved parents or what it means to have a relative in prison; peer generated shame, including bullying, cyber bullying, name calling or intimidation. Most significantly and depicted as the core motive and most painful to watch, there is personal shame, including feelings of unattractiveness, weakness and social rejection.

We psychologists know from Paul Gilbert's work that shame is a powerful and deeply social emotion that significantly influences thoughts, behaviours, and mental health. Shame is internalised and impacts an individual's self-concept. Adolescents are vulnerable to shame due to the developmental task (in Erikson's terms) of identity formation. When shame is compounded by social rejection or failure, it can contribute to depression, anxiety, and maladaptive coping mechanisms, including risky online behaviour.

Identity, disrespect, shame and digital spaces

There is no doubt that there is an external menace in the form of media and online interactions that needs adult monitoring, supervision, censoring and selected blacklisting. For a vulnerable adolescent who is trying to negotiate their sense of self from an already flawed perspective, escaping online provides solace, the potential to seek validation and to engage in risky behaviour. The fact that most adults know little of the online world means that they are unable to offer protection, in the way they would usually do. 

Adolescence highlights how shame can be exacerbated in digital spaces. Adolescents seek validation online, where they are susceptible to unrealistic comparisons and external criticism. The absence of adult guidance in navigating these digital environments, often interacted with frequency, in the quiet of a bedroom, further compounds vulnerability. Research (e.g. from Jean Twenge and colleagues) suggests that online interactions can intensify feelings of inadequacy, particularly when adolescents rely on social engagement for self-worth. In addition to knowing more, adults must actively engage with and understand the role of digital landscapes for their young person to provide the necessary supervision and support. However, it is not helpful for us to place the problem purely 'out there' in a digital world.

Something can be done!

As a clinical psychologist with extensive experience working with adolescents and adults, educational institutions, and statutory services, I would like to point out that while Adolescence portrays a disturbing slice of modern life, it is not representative of the norm. Certain vulnerabilities – within individuals, families, peer groups, and school environments – must converge to produce the devastating outcomes depicted in the series. 

However, proactive steps can mitigate these risks. These include:

- cultivating respectful environments through schools, families, and communities,

- emphasising mutual respect through positive role modelling and consistent guidance;

- establishing clear boundaries, since adolescents require structured environments with clear expectations and consequences to support their emotional and social development; 

- parental and community engagement through open communication, providing guidance in navigating this complicated developmental journey, ensuring they do not turn solely to peers or anonymous online figures for guidance; 

- education on understanding digital risks so they can openly and effectively monitor, supervise, and support young people online.

Finally, what Adolescence really highlighted for me – watching as both a professional and a parent – is the importance of key adults in an adolescent's life being available to address their emotional needs, to help combat competing toxic influences and enable them to navigate their journey into healthy adulthood from a much earlier age than themselves. 

An unrealistic session?

The editor also invited me to comment specifically on the episode featuring Jamie's encounters with a Psychologist. I have to admit that I found this one the most difficult to believe; I'm not sure if the script writers consulted with a Psychologist over the accuracy of this scenario. 

Firstly, you wouldn't really bring your client their favourite drink (hot too – you would risk it being thrown all over you) and make them a homemade sandwich!  

Secondly, when the Psychologist left the room, she left her bag and coat in the room. It would generally not be considered good clinical practice or safe practice in police custody to take it in the first place, and then to leave it with all your papers (especially when Jamie had demanded to see the notes), potentially a sharp object like a pen in there etc.  

Third, it would not be permitted for the Psychologist to be alone with Jamie – who is accused of murder, after all, and is shown (as is his father) as having emotional regulation issues.  

Fourth, there were numerous leading questions on masculinity, which wouldn't be the way to approach an assessment. 

Finally, to have not agreed on the number of assessments sessions and her clear role, so that there are no negotiated boundaries, seems very wrong in terms of an emotionally vulnerable boy getting attached / developing trust with someone (especially a woman).