‘Seeing yourself everywhere dissociates you’

It's not every day you get to sit in a fan-filled auditorium and listen to an international megastar share genuine experiences… the 'glossy' music industry beyond the lens of public media. An evening with Mel C and Clara Amfo showcased 'Spice Girl' Melanie Chisholm's memoir Who I Am: My Story, detailing her experiences with fame, individualism, and mental health.

As a Tanzanian, moving to the UK from the small town of Dar-Es-Salaam to bustling, cosmopolitan London was a drastic, scary yet exciting change. Perhaps Mel's own move, from the cocoon of her Merseyside home to the eyeballed world of the Spice Girls, resonated with me. Suddenly part of a group, compared with fellow Spice members by the audience and her own management team through negative comments on her weight, attire and relationships were reminiscent of Tajfel's social identity theory and deindividuation. The group context continually compromised her self-identity and self-awareness. 'Sporty Spice' reiterated how her eventual solo career in 1998 helped establish a sense of individuality. The small act of a compliment from a fellow musician, Adele – about her instead of the group – made her 'feel special'. To me, the memoir is Mel's attempt to embrace individualism as equally as her infamous nickname. In her words, 'this book is what I want people to know about me'.

Mel also spoke about her ordeal with depression and eating disorders whilst at the peak of her career, and the impact of parental separation and early childhood trauma in 'destabilising' her. Being under the constant scrutiny of the public and media, dictating commercialised beauty standards during the 90's where 'being skinny' was the norm and 'emphasised everywhere', ties into the self-fulfilling prophecy. The public or media expectation of Mel's body type to be thinner may align with behaviours associated with excessive weight loss to fulfil this set beauty standard.

In terms of fame, Mel said how 'seeing yourself everywhere dissociates you'… famous people are constantly aware of others' perceptions of them, and may become more likely to view themselves through the eyes of others. We also heard discussion of a pop industry feminist revolution, and Mel's guilt in terms of pleasing her fans, which led her to push boundaries of burnout through overwork.  

We can only hope that Mel's voice may help dismantle the current celebrity mental health treatment-seeking stigma. But there's also a need for change addressing rigid schedules, tabloid culture, and (in her words) 'those who are responsible for you', including managers and production houses. As someone who walked in with very little knowledge about her, I left truly inspired by Mel C's honest account of public scrutiny and combating imposter syndrome through publishing this memoir. 

• Reviewed by Fatema Saboor BSc (Hons) MSc, Honorary Assistant Psychologist at NHS South London and Maudsley. [email protected]