A messy depiction of sexual exploration

This American erotic thriller delves into the intricate interplay of desire, power dynamics, and sexual exploration. Starring Nicole Kidman as Romy Mathis, a high-powered CEO of a New York robotics firm, the film follows her tumultuous affair with Samuel, a young intern played by Harris Dickinson. Antonio Banderas co-stars as Jacob Mathis, Romy's husband, bringing additional depth to the narrative's exploration of fidelity, self-discovery, and the challenges of marital intimacy.

At its core, Babygirl examines the façade of Romy's seemingly perfect life. While her marriage to Jacob appears outwardly passionate, she harbours unfulfilled sexual and emotional desires. These longings lead her to pursue a risky, transgressive relationship with Samuel. Their affair acts as a catalyst, forcing Romy to confront her needs and desires, while also testing the limits of societal norms, professional boundaries, and personal ethics. Through this exploration, the film interrogates themes of consent, control, and the multifaceted nature of human sexuality – and how it intersects with romantic love.

Kidman delivers a bold and captivating performance, embracing the raw and vulnerable complexities of a woman grappling with her identity and desires. Her chemistry with Dickinson is palpable, heightening the tension and intensity of their often unsettling interactions.

Halina Reijn's direction largely strips away the glamor often associated with Hollywood erotic thrillers. Instead, she presents a stark and unvarnished portrayal of human relationships – their beauty, their messiness, and their contradictions. The film's visual and narrative style seems to intentionally mirror the undignified reality of infidelity and the complexity of sexual exploration.

While Babygirl has been described as 'sexy, dark, and unpredictable', some critics argue that its portrayal of kink occasionally falls into clichéd storytelling. The film's depiction of domination and submission lacks a nuanced understanding of BDSM practices. Key elements such as explicit consent, aftercare, and the negotiation of boundaries – critical pillars of ethical kink – are notably absent. For instance, Samuel's directive, 'You have to do whatever I tell you to do', reflects a problematic, unguided approach to BDSM. For those within the kink community, this depiction may feel frustrating or even harmful, as it perpetuates misconceptions about power exchange and consensual kink practices. However, this portrayal may resonate with those who have attempted to explore kink without adequate knowledge or guidance, highlighting the confusion and danger of such uncharted experiences.

One of the film's most compelling elements is Romy's ambivalence toward her own desires. Throughout the narrative, she grapples with feelings of shame and confusion, and we are told that she is receiving therapy (possibly EMDR) to unpack childhood experiences as a way to try and explain, or erase, her desires. This narrative illustrates a common societal tendency to pathologise taboo desires, often attributing them to trauma. In a world still largely sex-negative, Romy's reluctance to share her fantasies with her husband of 19 years reflects the pervasive shame surrounding kink and erotic exploration. This secrecy results in profound emotional isolation; in one poignant scene, Romy confesses she has never experienced an orgasm with her husband, yet climaxes during her first kinky encounter with Samuel. This moment underscores how accessing certain aspects of one's sexuality – such as the desire to relinquish power – can unlock pleasure and self-awareness.

Clinically, this narrative reflects a broader phenomenon: many individuals delay exploring their kinks until later in life, having spent years denying or suppressing their longings out of fear of being labeled 'broken' or 'bad'. This internalised shame often leads people to engage in unfulfilling sexual relationships, prioritising societal norms over personal satisfaction. Romy's journey mirrors this struggle, offering a poignant depiction of the emotional and psychological toll of repressing one's authentic desires. Her longing to relinquish power and regress to a place of safety and nurturing reflects common themes within the kink world, where individuals often explore taboo roles as a means of healing or self-expression.

The film also raises vital questions about relationships and compatibility. What happens when partners occupy different erotic spaces within their relationship? How can couples navigate these differences safely and honestly? These themes resonate deeply, as they reflect the challenges faced by many individuals who feel unable to explore their desires within the confines of their primary partnerships. 

Despite its merits, Babygirl misses an opportunity to delve deeper into the ethical and psychological dimensions of kink. More dialogue between the characters about the 'whys' of their desires could have provided valuable insights for viewers contemplating their own journeys of sexual exploration. Additionally, a stronger emphasis on consent, communication, and safety would have enriched the narrative and made it a more constructive representation of BDSM dynamics.

In conclusion, Babygirl is a provocative and thought-provoking film that challenges traditional narratives of power, desire, and identity. Through its raw and unflinching portrayal of a woman's journey toward self-discovery, it invites audiences to reflect on the complexities of human relationships and the societal norms that shape them. While it is not a definitive guide for those exploring kink, its messy and imperfect depiction of sexual exploration offers a poignant reminder of the courage it takes to confront one's deepest longings. 

• Reviewed by Dr Kate Marks, Clinical Psychologist with The Clinical Psychology Group