Getting others on the same page

In February 2015, a photograph of a dress not only created an online sensation but also triggered heated exchanges between friends, family and colleagues. Likewise, 'The Dress' as it was subsequently called, generated deep viral schisms. I too remember being intrigued by this perceptual divide. While some saw the dress as white and gold, others were certain it was black and blue. Furthermore, as each group could only see the dress in one set of colours, they were befuddled by the other group's perceptual opacity. Of course, this phenomenon sent vision scientists scrambling back to the blackboard to understand how perceptions could be so divergent.

In How Minds Change: The New Science of Belief, Opinion & Persuasion, David McRaney explains how our unconscious assumptions regarding lighting impact our perception of the colours of a dress. Scientists even manged to recreate this uncanny natural experiment under laboratory conditions. When something as basic as the colours of a dress can create such divergent perceptions, what about more emotive issues like racism, abortion or gay marriage? Is it possible for people in one camp to even see, let alone appreciate, the point of view of those in an 'opposing' camp?

Of course, social media has exacerbated polarisation of views on a multiplicity of issues as people tend to operate in virtual silos. Given this bleak scenario, how can we change other people's minds when we feel they are misguided? McRaney avers that it is indeed possible to shift people's opinions but how we go about it makes a huge difference. The typical method we deploy to persuade someone with an opposing position to ours is to bombard them with a slew of 'facts' or arguments, thinking this will help them sway their minds.

But as most of us can attest, trying to change someone's mind on an emotive issue by presenting them with a set of facts usually backfires. In fact, McRaney observes that such an exercise usually results in people sticking to their original positions even more resolutely, deepening the fissure between two antagonistic groups.

However, we also know that attitudes and beliefs morph over time and social changes do take place. From being expunged from the DSM as a psychiatric disorder to couples openly and legally celebrating gay marriages, most Western societies have seen a sea shift in people's attitudes to same-sex relationships.

So, what is the most effective way to change people's minds? McRaney affirms that people have to first want to change their minds. Likewise, the persuaders have to be upfront about why they want to change someone's mind. More importantly, we need to avoid the 'dead-end goal of winning an argument' and instead engage in conversations that explore people's thinking and motivations. If done deftly and sensitively, people may talk 'themselves into a new position' without necessarily realising that their views have spun around. If you are curious on how to go about doing this with others, pick up McRaney's book.

This book was reviewed by Aruna Sankaranarayana, the author of Zero Limits: Things Every 20-Something Should Know.