The fragility of healing

I'm 43, which means that in the 90s, my friends and I spent hours debating which member of Take That we'd most like to marry. I was all about the main character energy and as a result was always Team Robbie. But as a Clinical Psychologist, I now see that the making of a pop star – or any adult, for that matter – often feels far less glossy in real life than it appears on stage or screen.

When I sat down to watch Better Man, Robbie Williams' biopic, I was curious – particularly about the much-discussed monkey playing him. I hoped for candy-floss exuberance but instead found myself leaving the cinema with a lingering sadness. While the film offered moments of brightness, such as the gumball scene, its overall tone was unexpectedly bleak. As a psychologist who often works with trauma and depression, I'm used to supporting people through their narratives, but the one-sided nature of the film left me yearning to help Robbie.

Fame and identity: The double-edged sword

Better Man offers an unflinching look at the psychological toll of fame. Robbie's rise to stardom, like many boy band members, was meteoric. As explored in the BBC's recent series on boy bands, fame often comes bundled with money, adoration, and access to substances – a potent cocktail of instability.

To go from worrying about not passing GCSEs to being thrust into Take That's whirlwind would be disorienting for anyone. Fame, while alluring, can strip away the grounding forces of identity, replacing them with relentless expectations. Having done media work myself and having enrolled on the BPS Media Production Course, I hope that in 2025, aspiring stars are better informed about the highs and lows of public life than they were in the 90s. But perhaps that hope is just my bubblegum optimism returning. The reality likely remains that the industry often prioritises profit over people.

The cost of substance use

One of Better Man's most striking themes is Robbie's relationship with substances. The BBC's boy band series highlighted how fame normalises drugs and alcohol as coping mechanisms. For Robbie, substances were both an escape and a trap, exacerbating the very struggles he sought to numb.

As a psychologist, I see this dynamic often. Substances seem to help someone cope with life factors which need anesthetising, but this temporary relief doesn't ultimately help if the life factors don't change. Robbie's openness about his battles underscores the importance of addressing addiction's root causes, not just its symptoms.

The role of relationships in recovery

Significant relationships can act as anchors, allowing us to share our joy and vulnerability without the need for a mask. In the film, Robbie's relationship with his Nan stood out, reminding us of the grounding influence of those who love us unconditionally. Yet, Better Man doesn't explore the transformative relationships of his later life, particularly his marriage to Ayda Field and the grounding influence of fatherhood.

This omission felt significant, leaving the audience suspended in his struggles without the hope or fulfilment that comes from seeing someone rebuild their life. Psychologically, it underscores the importance of support systems in fostering resilience.

The need for closure in storytelling

As humans, we're wired to seek closure, which makes Better Man's unresolved ending feel jarring. Yet this lack of resolution reflects the messy reality of mental health journeys. Healing isn't always linear, and not every story ties up neatly.

For me, the film also brought home how life rarely aligns with teenage dreams. Back in the 90s, I never imagined I'd one day marry a drummer instead of the lead singer! While Better Man didn't end on a high note, its honesty reminds us that life – like mental health – is a work in progress, often finding light in the unlikeliest of places. 

• Reviewed by Dr Marianne Trent DClinPsy CPsychol; founder of Good Thinking Psychological Services; author of the Collective series and podcast host of The Aspiring Psychologist. 

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