Facing the challenge of visible difference

Jono Lancaster was born with Treacher Collins syndrome – a rare craniofacial condition that means his face looks 'different' to most other people's. In this book, Jono weaves his life story and personal experience of living with a facial difference, with the story of how he grew to love his face and value himself.

Throughout the book, Jono introduces us to his heroes, the people who have made a significant difference in his life, notably Jean who adopted him as a baby and has been a constant source of support and encouragement. But not all his heroes are well known to him. He describes a turning point whilst working in a bar and being asked (yet again) why he looks the way he does.

Being questioned about what happened to his face is a common occurrence for Jono, as it sadly/frustratingly is for many people who have an appearance that is in any way different or unusual. On this occasion, he and the stranger (who he subsequently identifies as a hero) start a conversation that leads to Jono changing his view of himself and embracing his difference. Since then, he's told his story to the media, set up a charity, spoken at schools, and met and supported young people with craniofacial conditions and their families across the world.

His story is peppered with his reflections on why and how his relationship with his appearance has impacted his life, both positively and negatively. He vividly describes many challenges he has faced over the years, including the stress of moving to a new school, romantic and intimate relationships, jobs, and stepping into the world of social media. All these can be difficult and worrying for anyone, but adding a particularly memorable face into the mix adds another level of complexity and potential stress. It's a vivid insight into being on the receiving end of teasing and bullying just for having a face that stands out.

Jono shares the strategies that have helped him (and those that haven't) and shows that adjustment and 'coping' are not static, illustrated by the ups and downs he has been through and continues to face today. He encourages the reader to try a number of activities, including thinking about the heroes in their own life. I couldn't help but spot where psychological theories and therapeutic approaches make their mark – mindfulness, social comparisons, positive body image, CBT, ACT – they're all in here, without the labels.

This easy-to-read book is moving, heart-warming, inspiring and humorous. As ever, someone with lived experience says it so much better than anyone else could. I would strongly recommend it, particularly to anyone new to the psychology of appearance and/or facing the challenge of visible difference themselves. Since reading this book I've been thinking about the people who have been heroes in my life and, where possible, letting them know. Like Jono, I'd encourage you to do the same. 

Reviewed by Professor Diana Harcourt, Centre for Appearance Research, University of the West of England