A change is (nearly) as good as a rest

In addition to working directly with clients, a key part of my work involves offering supervision to other psychological practitioners who work with athletes, musicians and/or business executives. We discuss the work that the practitioner is doing with their clients so that I can support their ongoing professional development. Emma (not her real name) is one such practitioner with whom I meet monthly. 

Emma had sought supervision from me to develop her competency in using the flexible mind approach. Indeed, the three aspects of the flexible mind - being Anchored, Willing and Empowered - were also informing our approach to these supervision sessions. Emma is a conscientious, committed and talented psychologist. She splits her employment between two roles. For half the week, she is employed as a performance psychologist for a professional rugby team. For the remainder of the week, she is employed as an academic member of staff at a university where she teaches and conducts research. She has held these roles jointly for the last ten years. Both roles are demanding, and she often works more hours than she is paid for in both jobs. The combined salary and benefits provide for a comfortable lifestyle, but Emma has been noticing she has limited time during the week to do the things that she enjoys. In the months leading up to the commencement of the supervision, Emma had been becoming increasingly disillusioned about the impact that she was having in each of her professional roles. She also reported feeling powerless to exercise changes in her life, and having thoughts that she was letting her husband down by not being more present with him. It was clear that Emma was experiencing conflicts in the goals that she was working towards in her salaried jobs, family life and her personal aspirations. Bottom line: if the situation persisted, Emma was on the road to burnout. 

During an online supervision session one sunny spring afternoon, we discussed her current workload and explored options for reconfiguring her working week. The discussions provided an opportunity to revisit her sense of purpose. I asked Emma what she would ideally choose to be doing in her work if she wasn't having to contend with the feelings of disillusionment and stress. She paused for a moment's reflection. She had been an accomplished tennis player in her youth, and it was the sport that she was most passionate about. In an ideal world, she would want to do freelance work supporting a small number of professional tennis players with whom she could work intensively. When I enquired about what this role would provide her, Emma talked about the freedom to be creative and have greater autonomy in how she worked and who she worked with. It was notable how Emma's demeanour and facial expression changed during the conversation. Not only could I hear the enthusiasm in her voice, but I could also see it in her eyes. 

The conversation shifted to thinking about next steps. We talked about what potential options she could explore. Emma suggested that she could try to reconfigure her work with the rugby team to assume more of a management role whereby she could delegate more responsibilities to the other psychology practitioners based at the team. She said she would also discuss the possibility of reducing her hours at the university. We talked about some of the barriers she might face in initiating those conversations. She was able to recognize that concerns about being perceived as 'entitled' or 'ungrateful' by her colleagues could stop the conversations with her employers before they even began, and that feelings of anxiety and trepidation were showing up. There were also worries about the impact the reduction in her guaranteed income and pension contributions would bring. At the end of the session, Emma and I identified two action points: 1) she would reflect on whether the reward of choosing to pursue her passion for freelance work with tennis players would be worth the doubts and anxiety that would inevitably show up; 2) she would identify the personal values she would like to demonstrate if she chose to discuss these options with her colleagues. 

It was two months before we were able to meet again. In the meantime, there had been some important developments. Emma had talked with the management team at the rugby club, and they had agreed to reconfigure her post so that she would have more line-management responsibility for the other psychology practitioners and less involvement in the frontline delivery of interventions. She had also initiated a conversation with the university about workload and hours of employment. This discussion had prompted Emma's line manager to suggest that she should apply for a promotion in recognition of the important contribution she had been making in her role. Emma's response? She tendered her resignation. She was clear that more money and additional responsibilities weren't what she wanted. A fuse had been lit and it wasn't for being extinguished. She had decided to reset, and she was determined to follow through on it. A key motivation to act that Emma identified was the realization that she was being unkind - to herself. If she didn't make changes, she would be sacrificing her health and her purpose. The personal values of doing things authentically, courageously and committedly that she had identified as being important following the last session were shining through. 

If, like Emma, you have noticed discontentment showing up in an area of your life (work, relationships, community life, etc.) the following questions, which contribute to a process I refer to as 'preparing for a bold move', will be helpful to consider: 

• What would you ideally choose to be doing in that life domain if you weren't having to contend with the feelings of discontent? 

• What impact would making that choice be likely to have on how you think, feel and act? 

• What opportunities exist to implement those kinds of changes in that life domain? 

• What barriers might you face in pursuing those opportunities? 

• Do the potential benefits mean that those barriers are worth confronting? 

• What options do you have for overcoming those barriers? 

• What concrete steps will you now take? 

Being deliberate in identifying and considering potential barriers when we are contemplating change is a crucial step. Gabriele Oettingen, a German psychologist based at New York University, and her colleagues refer to this process as 'mental contrasting' - we are contrasting the benefits with potential costs. Research has shown that engaging in mental contrasting increases the likelihood of achieving various goals, including adhering to nutritional plans, improving academic performance, engaging in physical activities, and improvements in other physical health outcomes. 

Not long after that supervision session with Emma, I made a bold move of my own… 

• Professor Ross White is an award-winning clinical psychologist who specialises in supporting the mental health and wellbeing of adults working in high-performance environments, including elite-level athletes in rugby, football, athletics and tennis. He is also an expert in global mental health and has conducted research in collaborations with the World Health Organization and the United Nations High Commission for Refugees on interventions for reducing distress experienced by refugees in the aftermath of humanitarian crises. He is currently Professor of Clinical Psychology at Queen's University Belfast, and is a director of Strive2Thrive, a clinical psychology consultancy firm that provides interventions and training to help individuals and organisations thrive. 

The Tree That Bends is published by Quercus Books on 29 August.