19 ways to improve your life

Don't stress about not feeling happy

We're often bombarded with surveys that announce where the 'happiest place to live' is, or which habits we should be adopting to be happier. But researchers in Canada have discovered that actively pursuing happiness led participants to think of time as being scarce, which made them unhappy. They noted, 'This finding adds depth to the growing body of work suggesting that the pursuit of happiness can ironically undermine wellbeing'. Letting go of the 'must do better at being happy' goal may actually improve things after all!

Instead, think about creating a rich life

And we're talking in psychological not monetary terms! A psychologically rich life is characterised by plenty of interesting and perspective-changing events. These experiences don't necessarily have to feel good at the time; they might even be traumatic, but in a 2021 study, US-based psychologists Shigehiro Oshi and Erin Westgate argued in a paper in Psychological Review that work to understand the meaning of a 'good life' had missed a crucial dimension, which they called psychological richness.

Think about stripping back

A happier life may also involve having less. 'We are overloaded.' Says Matt Haig, speaking to our Editor, Jon Sutton. 'We are in a world of infinite choice. TV shows, books, friends, careers, travel (for some), where we get our news, apps, podcasts, food, cosmetics. We're simply not made for all the thousands of micro-decisions we're expected to make in a day. It's about editing our lives so that they make sense again. '

Got a goal? Give yourself a WOOP!

WOOP stands for Wish, Outcome, Obstacles, Plan. Begin by identifying what you 'wish' for in as much detail as possible. Don't be vague by just stating something like, 'I want to lose weight' but, rather, set specific goals such as 'I want to lose 10lbs'. The more specific, the more tangible and achievable goals are. They provide a measurable yardstick for progress. 'Just wishing for a goal is not enough', says Bruce Hood in The Science of Happiness. He points to a study by psychologist, Gabrielle Oettingen who found that we also need to consider future obstacles and how we might overcome them.

And if the goal is too challenging?

'Set a lower target and start again, but don't set different goals until you've achieved the one you're working on.' Says Professor Charles Abraham, Head of Psychology Applied to Health at the University of Exeter. Celebrating reaching a goal, however 'small' you perceive it to be, will give you a sense of achievement. This is just one of our evidence-based tips from The Psychologist Guide to… Healthy Living, written by journalist Ella Rhodes. All of our practical Guides can be found here.

Think of the journey not the destination

Many psychological studies have focused on how to achieve goals rather than how to maintain behaviours after people have met their goals. Researchers at the Stanford Graduate School of Business studying people who had recently achieved a goal noted a difference in people who were prompted to see their achievements as 'the completion of a journey' in comparison to those who weren't offered this metaphor. Those who thought about the journey were much more likely to be using the practices they had used towards their goal six months after achieving it. 

Use 'regret' to your advantage

Viewing the feeling of regret as a positive emotion, may sound a little topsy turvy but in her book, You Only Die Once, Jodi Wellman explains that by getting curious about what past regrets mean to you, you can help to steer your decisions in a healthier and happier direction. In an exclusive extract, Jodi Wellman wrote: 'If you've been beating yourself up for a transgression or mistake from days gone by, it might be time to reframe it as a helpful tutorial in what not to do / what to do moving forward. You're doing the best you can.' Sounds much more compassionate!

Find a garden to benefit from

Ecopsychologist, Theodore Roszak believed that we each have an ecological unconsciousness embedded within the core of our minds and when exposed to the natural environment we can harvest the benefits of health, sanity and contentment. And the good news is, you don't have to travel far to get the benefits, whether it's the local park or your own back yard.

Avoid 'binge vacationing'

Taking only one long holiday per year, may not give us the rest that our systems really need. Instead, says, Jessica De Bloom from the University of Tampere, it may benefit us to take regular long weekends and short vacations, as well as to be curious about how to integrate 'holiday happiness' into everyday life, such as lunch time swims, evening board games and home town explorations.

Normalise not-knowing stuff

Struggling with imposter syndrome? There are several techniques you can use to tackle feeling not-quite good enough and Dr Hayley Lewis shared six of these in her recent BPS webinar. How about taking a leaf out of Nobel Prize winning physicist, Reichard Feynman's book, who celebrated the fact he didn't know everything and kept a pad titled 'Notebook of things I don't know about' to keep abreast of them. Turning 'not-knowing' into a challenge rather than something to be ashamed of sounds good to us.

Shiver in your daily shower

A 30-day event in the Netherlands that involved more than 3000 people taking daily showers that ran cold for at least the last 30 seconds each time had some positive findings. Researchers found there was a 29 per cent reduction in sickness absence for those who took the chilly challenge compared with their colleagues who didn't.

Want to make more friends? Show your vulnerabilities

Whether that's by declaring a secret crush, revealing our physical insecurities or admitting to a serious mistake at work, psychological studies show that even though we assume we will be judged harshly for our confessions, the opposite happens. What occurs is that others see our confessions as a sign as authenticity. Time to 'fess up.

Dis-habituate to renew feelings of joy

'When we become habituated to things that bring us joy, the risk is that we quickly stop reacting to the happiness they can bring,' says Tali Sharot in her book, Look Again. 'Amazing food, great trips, expensive cars etc, will trigger a burst of joy if you experience them occasionally. But once those experiences become frequent, they stop producing real pleasure and instead, they produce comfort – which is entirely different.' Her advice? Sometimes it can be as simple as taking time away from the stuff you're taking for granted.

Rediscover simple pleasures

It can often be the everyday things that bring us the most joy. By discovering the power of mindfulness, we can reconnect with simple, everyday pleasures. Barney Dunn on our PsychCrunch podcast dives into the subject of mindfulness. Check out all of our podcast episodes for more practical life advice here.

Instead of wrestling with anxiety, accept it

The feeling of anxiety is a necessary sensation that humans need for survival, however, when it gets in the way of our enjoyment of life, it can be useful to seek help. Dr Kirren Schnack, Clinical Psychologist and author of Ten Times Calmer: Beat Anxiety and Change Your Life, says there are some practical exercises we can all apply to help reduce anxiety. One of these is 'acceptance', which involves acknowledging and allowing uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations to exist without attempting to control or eliminate them. As Dr Schnack explains; 'Acceptance also demonstrates that when we embrace these inner experiences, their distressing impact gradually fades'.

Write a 'To-Don't' list

Time and what we do with the hours we have can be a constant challenge for many of us. Organisational Psychologist, Dr Amantha Imber, suggests we focus on what we don't want to spend time on rather than a never-ending To Do list.  She suggests that we; 'Create a list of things you will not do the following month. Keep this list in eyesight of your desk to act as a constant reminder. In subsequent months, review how it felt to stick to your to-don't list, what served you and what didn't'. Using these observations to remove activities or items from your schedule will free you up to do the stuff that does feel beneficial.

Keep a dream diary

Want to boost your creativity? Keep a notepad by your bed, or even record your memories of the previous night's dream on your phone. Researchers in Colombia discovered that greater dream recall is correlated with measures of creativity and even by simply logging what you can remember, even if that's not everything, could help with imaginative tasks.

Volunteer to enhance your happiness

Several psychological studies have demonstrated the benefits of volunteering for wellbeing, but did you know that offering your time to help others has also been related to improved cognitive and social functioning and lower mortality risk? Employees who volunteer in their workplace were also found to have an enhanced sense of belonging and accomplishment, which in turn, benefits both the employee and employer. However, as chartered psychologist Dr Nishat Babu stresses, organisations and employers should ensure they support these findings by offering shorter working days, flexible work schedules, and a quota of volunteering days.

Turn your why into how

Clinical Psychologist, Dr Jennifer Wild, studied the behaviours of people who thrive despite past traumas or tragic circumstances. She believes we can all take some lessons from these people. One exercise she suggests is to spot when your thoughts have turned to 'Why?' and 'What if?' and instead of spending energy trying to answer unanswerable questions, ask yourself 'How can I feel better now?' and 'How can I refocus on the task at hand?' Chewing over the past or solving unrealised hiccups in the future fuels over-thinking, which delays decision-making and taking action.