“Parents feel out of their depth and dealing with something outside of their knowledge and control”

Adolescence has captured the world's attention. Globally, the TV series has racked up over 100 million hours of viewing, it's been mentioned in Parliament and this week, Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer hosted a roundtable with the show's creators, charities and young people to discuss the challenges that the show addresses. 

As influential and impactful as Adolescence is, the show is just one part of a wider and ongoing discussion about how to tackle issues like toxic online influencers, bullying via social media, misogyny and male role models, and the impacts of social media on young people's mental health and wellbeing. 

As part of Stress Awareness Month, we spoke to Consultant Clinical Psychologist, Dr Nihara Krause about some of the concerns adults may be experiencing, as a result of watching the TV series, and what they can do to support young people.

What concerns and worries have adults raised to you, as a result of watching Adolescence?

The main concern from parents is feeling out of their depth and dealing with something outside of their knowledge and control. People like Andrew Tate or Incel groups aren't something that the average parent might know about.  

The second concern is worrying about how to keep their children or young people safe, as the story in Adolescence is told in a dramatic and shocking way, and the main character is very young. A character in the show says, 'I thought they were safe in our house', and the idea that your home or your child's bedroom isn't safe is a very scary concept for parents.

In Adolescence, Jamie is exposed to misogynistic and toxic content online, which his parents were unaware he was accessing. What advice would you give to a parent or carer who is worried about what content their child may be finding online?

I'd advise parents to learn about online life and trends. There was clever placement of various emojis that young people used in Adolescence as part of the bullying messaging, so I'd advise trying to understand a bit more about online language such as this. Of course, you're never going to be on top of everything, but keeping up-to-date on young people's online lives, including the persuasive designs incorporated into online communication, will help.

In terms of social media monitoring, it's good to have a conversation before they first go on social media to think about what they might be using it for. Are they using it to share jokes? Are they sharing tips about sports? Is it the way they get invited to a party? 

I think it's helpful to go online with them and look at what might be happening. You can share bits of information together or you might want to say, 'I hear that there's something going on about the manosphere, can you tell me a bit more about it? Can you tell me how the messaging around it made you feel?'

You could also have a catch-up from time to time about what's happening on their social accounts or, if they're older and that's harder to do, you could say that they need to be 'friends' with an older sibling or cousin who can keep a check on them. That would be a way of respecting their privacy but also having oversight.

You've talked previously about how offering young people real-life role models can address the issues (toxic online content, misogyny, online bullying) raised in the show. Are there any ways that parents or carers can support their children if they have concerns about them?

Encourage young people to think about what they admire and like about people they look up to.  It's also important for parents to model healthy online habits and to be available to talk and listen. Alongside this, encourage your child to develop skills in how to be empathetic online by stopping, thinking and reflecting before they post something and to be discerning of how they interpret what they see and hear online (which will be age dependent). 

I'd also advise teaching young people to learn to set a limit on emotional communication. So, for example, if you're really fired up, acknowledge the emotion you're feeling. Write down what you want to express, but don't press send. Get a handle on the emotion before you post online, so you're communicating with your non-emotive rather than your emotive brain.  

Themes of shame and unmet psychological needs are prevalent in the show. What advice would you give to adults who want to make sure the young people they care for are emotionally supported?

I think one of the fundamental parenting issues that's been there for generations, but really important now, is learning about maintaining connections. I think parents are particularly keen to correct as part of their role before they connect, so I always talk about 'connection before correction'.

Always keep a child's age and gender in mind, because there are different pressures that young people are exposed to, including information that is difficult for them to understand cognitively. Parents can consider what content is age-appropriate, know how to help them block or report unwanted messages and help them understand that personalised content is often algorithm feed rather than messaging relevant to them.

Knowing your child will help understand their interpretation of what they might pick up online. If you've got an anxious child, the way they interpret something might be different to someone who is depressed, curious or impulsive for example. Find out their interpretation and provide them with balanced alternatives. 

On the topic of shame, it's very difficult for anybody - child, young person or adult - to open up because shame is a core feeling that makes us feel really bad. Handle shame sensitively, avoid blame or ridicule and recognise that a reluctance to open up might be related to this rather than deceit. 

What advice would you give to a young person who is concerned about what one of their friends might be looking at online?

I would advise them to select a trusted adult in their life to confide in. There may be a teacher at school they can approach, or a digital safeguarding lead, or they could speak to a relative and get some advice on what support their friend might be able to have.

I lead an adolescent teenage mental health charity called stem4 where we produce resources, training and apps for young people, to use to support their mental health. One of the issues brought up in the TV series was around sexting and what can you do when an intimate photograph of yourself is being shared.  We have guidance around this and many other issues that teenagers experience such as eating disorders, low self-esteem and self-harm. We also run training for parents and carers and educators and health professionals on understanding what happens online and its interaction with mental health.